Second Chances, Second Tears
by Agent0018
Summary: Vesper didn't die but James didn't know that. She returns an amnesiac and with a bun in the oven. Problem is, she's now a target of a new crime organization with one goal only: Destroy Bond. And what better way than through his heart?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**_Vesper_**

I gasped. I dreamt that I was trapped inside a cage underwater. I couldn't get out, and damn I couldn't reach something. I wanted to, but something was stopping me. Guilt? Why? For what?

And then I woke up. And stared into a white ceiling. And stark lights. The smell of hospital permeates my nose. Why hospital? I try to remember something, anything, but I couldn't remember any. Trivial facts such as name, age and who is the current monarch of our dear country I can answer but not how I got here.

I try to raise my hand but it was covered in sterile tape and attached to an IV. A monitor beeps and a minute later, a doctor and a nurse comes in. The doctor looks like a generic American boy, all blond and blue eyes while the nurse was exotic. I guessed she was from the Southeast Asia or something.

"Good morning miss. I am Dr. Harper and this is your nurse, Nurse Agnes. Now young lady, I know you are a bit disoriented but that is fine miss. You have been in a medically induced coma for four months now because when we found you, you were literally dead. Your heart wasn't beating but thanks to some quick action, we were able to start it again." The doctor laughed, amused at his own joke. I didn't.

He cleared his throat, then said "Your body couldn't handle the stress it usually does and we were afraid that you would die again so we put you in a coma. How are we feeling?"

"I..I.. d-don't know-w" I stutter.

"Can you remember anything?"

I nodded, "B-but only trivial s-stuff,"

The doctor was silent for a moment then asked, "What is your name?"

"Vesper Lynd"

"What year is it?"

"2006."

"The prime minister of England?"

That one took a bit longer but I was able to answer Tony Blair.

"Well, Ms. Lynd, you are well physically but with some muscle atrophy that can easily be corrected. It appears though that you have retrograde amnesia."

"Wh-at?" I asked

"You can recall information sometime prior to your near drowning accident but I'm afraid that this is your body's way of protecting itself."

"Will I get be-better?

"I'm hopeful you will because my next news is not really for someone who cannot recall her immediate past."

"Wh-what do you m-mean?"

Dr. Harper and Nurse Agnes looked at each other before they looked at me. Then in a slightly accented voice, Nurse Agnes told me, "Vesper, you're pregnant."

**_James_**

Sweat drips down on my body but I still hit the bloody training dummy with fucking strong jabs and punches. Rhythm. That's what gets me through these days. Bloody fucking rhythm. I could lose myself in the routine of my days. Train, speak with M, verbal spar with Q, go on a mission, go home. Rinse. Repeat. With precision and stubbornness, I stick with my routine, never allowing my head to roam freely.

Because if it did, it only returns to _her_. That bitch.

I continue to demolish the dummy, trying to purge her out of my mind with pain from the ever increasing power I put behind my punches. _One...Two...Three.._ Repeat.

_Her: Rolex?_

_James: Omega._

_Her: Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard..._

_James: No, of course not._

_Her: But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures, rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money - and off your perfectly-formed arse._

_James: You noticed?_

_Her: Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?_

_James: Skewered! One sympathizes._

_Her: Good evening, Mr. Bond._

_James: Good evening, Ms. Lynd._

With a final punch and kick, he sent the bloody dummy into two pieces. Breathing hard, he set upon the next dummy until he heard someone walking up behind him. "M." He acknowledged.

"If you would just answer that thrice damned phone of yours Bond, I wouldn't have to walk so far here." M huffed.

"We get our kicks where we can get them." He mused.

"No fun in waiting for an old woman to croak by giving her a heart attack with overly tedious walking Bond. I'd expect that you would find other creative ways to kill me than that. Pity." M said dryly.

He chuckled then asked. "Why are you here?

"Because I have a mission for you. Here." She gave him a thick folder. "All you need is in there. Good luck."

M left, and James opened the folder.

Vesper Lynd's face stared back at him.


	2. Chapter One

A/N: This is my first Bond fic and yeah. I'm gonna bet it's not that good for all those diehard fans out there (maybe?) but I shall strive to do my best to be faithful to the characters. So sorry in advance if they are kinda OOC. :( Read and Review please :) I also accept plot bunnies and suggestions so send me some! I'll be sure to mention you.  
Oh, and BTW, thanks to "Me", "Coco" and "SY" for reviewing :) oh and yeah, don't worry. I'll see this through the end. Uhh, I also went wild with the novel and movie canon and butchered it but I do hope you enjoy!

* * *

_**James**_

I read through the rather thick folders. Intelligence scores, marksmanship scores, kill rates. Vesper Lynd wasn't the Vesper I knew after all. She was Vedette Lyzlova, KGB's deadliest assassin. And my mission. Terminate at all costs. I stared at the words. I haven't gotten over the fact that the woman I lov – _fucked,_ was still alive and now I have to kill her. _That would be my greatest pleasure_ I thought to myself, but instead of feeling vindicated, I felt hollow.  
After thoroughly reading the folders, and feeling a lot enlightened, three hours later I packed my bags. Guns, tuxedo, and a nifty ring with concealed poison given to me by Q. Perfect. _Vedette Lyzlova, your time has come._

_**Vesper**_  
Volgograd, Russia

Relocating to a completely strange country with a language I hardly know is a dumb move. I know. But there was just something in getting lost when I myself is still _lost. _I still couldn't remember anything past my drowning accident.

* * *

Two days ago, Dr. Harper and Nurse Agnes contacted some government officials because apparently, I was a foreign liaison agent from the HM Treasury's Financial Action Task Force. A mouthful. After saying a rather emotional goodbye to Dr. Harper and Nurse Agnes, the government official drove me to my old apartment in London to help pack my personal effects. I gazed at the rather opulent apartment. _Hmm. It isn't as if I was living in penury._ Even though I could recall stuff from my past, it is still somewhat fuzzy. As I walked around my apartment, small tidbits of memory starts to sift through my mind. The two agents introduced themselves as "John" and "Jack" and I snorted inside._ Ha! As if it John and Jack are their real names. _I smiled and thanked them for their effort in helping me but they gently rebuffed it saying it was their job. After I put everything personally relevant in the apartment inside a few cardboard boxes, John handed me an envelope. "All you need is there Ms. Lynd. In behalf of protecting the interests of this country, I suggest that you disappear and never return as Vesper Lynd again. Inside that envelope are papers you need to start a new life; passports, birth certificates, records-everything. Now, you can choose any country you can start a new life with." he said. I froze, not sure if I was hearing it right. "You want me to _not_ resume my life as Vesper Lynd? Why?" I asked. Jack and John exchange a surreptitious look and Jack answered this time, "Ma'am, before you had your amnesia, you were working in a strictly classified mission for this country. You signed a waiver stating that if you were ever compromised, you would do follow the instructions of MI6 without any questions or complaints. And, Ma'am, you _were _compromised."

I stared at them, dumbstruck. "But I thought I was just...I was an agent? Is that what you were saying?"

"No ma'am, you were there to facilitate a mission, but you weren't an agent. The mission went FUBAR and now we need you to disappear." Jack said. Well that kinda made sense. If there was someone out there for my blood, what better way than to disappear? "So, if I do this, will Vesper Lynd will cease to exist?" I asked them. "Ma'am, Vesper Lynd is already dead." John said, not unkindly. "So, where would you like to go?" I said the first thing that came to mind: "Russia."

* * *

And now, I am in a city whom I know not anyone and I know not the language. John kindly provided a English-Russian dictionary, bless his heart. I have managed to avoid looking inside the accursed envelope, instead trying to acknowledge the fact that I am now in a strange country, alone and pregnant. In the end, I couldn't resist the urge to examine this new identity that has so easily replaced Vesper Lynd. I gingerly opened it and read the contents:

**Name:** Vedette Lyzlova,

**Age:** 28

**Birthdate:** August 18, 1978

**Address:** Volgograd, Russia

...

There were more papers in the envelope but I refrained from reading the rest of them. I need time to digest this new identity of mine but I noticed that there were no mention of the baby and for the first time, I wondered who the father might be. I sighed and got out of my bedroom then went to the kitchen to make some tea. The pantry was well stocked and the new apartment fully furnished. There were two bedrooms and a study, a living room, a bathroom with -_Thank God- _spacious bathtub and shower, a kitchen and dining room and a lovely terrace overlooking a very nice park. All in all it was a luxurious apartment for someone with no memory of her past. They also provided me with a healthy bank account that would support me until such a time that they deem me independent.

_"How about work? I can hardly live off forever on charity." I told John. "We will give you a few references to an accounting firm and you could start whenever you want to. I just want you to know that you should never make or invite any attention to yourself. Work and blend in, otherwise you will be forced to start again." I was horrified at the notion of starting this shit all over again and so I only nodded. "I would like to start as soon as possible." I announced to them. "Your work would start three days from now on. Good luck and farewell Ms. Lyzlova." John said. "Thanks." And then I closed the door._

I sat in the rocking chair in the terrace, contemplating everything. _Vesper, Vedette, ...pregnant, agents, ...compromised, missions... _The thoughts swirled around and around in my mind and when it became too much, I put my head in my hands. For the first time since I woke up, I let myself cry.

* * *

A/N: How was it? :D I'd love to hear your feedback and again I'm sorry for the long wait. I have Chapter Two (most of it anyways) ready so stay tuned! xoxoxo


	3. Chapter Two

**A/N: **  
**So here's chapter two guys. Ms. Ayla told me that there's little dialogue in this story.. Well, I purposely did that because I was attempting to get inside James and Vesper's mind. But never fear because this is just temporary. Once J and V meet again there will be lots of dialogue to make you guys happy. Happy reading and don't forget to R&amp;R! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bond. Tragic.**

* * *

**_Vesper_**

I went to the accounting firm John recommended two days after I landed in Russia. It was situated in a nondescript building just ten minutes away from my apartment. Being alone, even for a little while, was starting to get to me. I wanted to be surrounded by people, normalcy, in my very abnormal situation. There was nothing wrong with being alone, in fact, sometimes all I want is to be by myself but staring at the same four walls of my bedroom is nowhere near normal.

John reassured me that TemRoe, the accounting firm I would be hopefully working for, were predominantly English-speaking so I won't have any problems. I was very happy to hear it because even though I have every intention of learning Russian, it just won't happen overnight.

Inside the building, a pretty secretary ushered me towards a room with a very Spartan feel. The wall facing the door was pure glass, and it bathed the room in sunshine. A fat, balding man sat behind the desk and he looked up when I entered.

"Ms. Lyzlova? I am Mr. Adam Frenau" He said in a rasping voice. He went around the desk and shook my hand. "Please. Sit down. Can I get you something? Water, soda, or coffee, perhaps?"

"Water would be fine, thanks," I replied.

He gestured to the secretary who ushered me in and in a minute, she set down in front of me a tall glass of iced lemon water. I sipped at the water and looked around the room while the man sat behind his desk again.

"Now, I understand that you came to us with very impressive recommendations from England and we are very honored to have you with us on our team. If you could just answer a few questions and sign here," he gave me several legal documents and pointing to a blank with my printed name, "you could start tomorrow."

I leafed through the pages and found what he wanted me to answer. Taking a pen from my handbag, I answered all the generic questions and signed the blank. Filing the papers I stood up and gave him the papers. "Here it is Mr. Frenau," I said. "Please, call me Adam, since we're going to be teammates and all," he said while taking the paper and looking it over.

"Thanks, Adam," I smiled at him. "No problem, you can start at eight o'clock tomorrow. I'll have Ms. Inna, my secretary, to guide you to your office tomorrow."

"Do I have to bring anything tomorrow?" I asked.

"We have several restaurants nearby and we will issue you a company laptop. Actually, I think you're pretty set for tomorrow." He grinned and called out for his secretary. "Liliya! Please escort Ms. Lyzlova outside."

I thanked him and went out of the building. I started to walk back to my flat but I remembered the baby. If I was to stay here, I needed medical attention for the sake of the child. I wondered then for the second time who might be this child's father. How did we - well I bloody know _how.. _I wondered who he is, if he knew that we were having a baby or that I was alive. Was the child a result of a love match? Or did I seduce someone and got pregnant accidentally?

As I was considering this, I sat down in a public bench and whipped out a notebook and the handy English - Russian dictionary I brought with me. I wrote down the rough translation of "Is there a hospital nearby?" and when I was satisfied, I stood up and looked around for someone I could ask. Across the street, I saw a woman selling flowers and walked towards her. Just as I was crossing the middle of the street, a car blindsided me. _Oh no. _I stood there, frozen, then a hit connected with my body from an unexpected direction. I gasped in pain, instantly curling around my midsection. Protecting _my_ child.

Between those crucial moments, I distinctly saw the outline of a man with a halo of blonde hair and piercing blue eyes hovering over me.

It, or someone, has hit me.

Then I passed out.

* * *

**Okay. That's chapter two guys. Let me know how you think :) Reviews make me write faster. XD**


	4. Chapter Three

A/N:

Hi?

*flinches in shame for not updating sooner*

Sorry's not gonna cut it, I think, but nevertheless I will beg for forgiveness. I know in my other fic "Shattered Us" I said I will update this but I wasn't able to. Again, sorry. But anyways, here's for Ms. Ayla (here's your update :) please don't kill me)

* * *

**_Vesper_**

I woke up for the second time disoriented and a little fazed. _Huh. Did something happen to me again?_ My hands immediately smoothed over my belly trying to commune with my child when I noticed a man sitting in a chair by the window.

"Don't move yet. The doctors have been notified that you are awake. You've suffered a minor concussion, but they would want to examine you further." He said in a deep voice that stirred something deep inside me. I took a few moments to drink him in. About 6"2, late 30s or 40s, blond with deep blue eyes. _And good-looking. Incredibly so. _

I shook my head, banishing that thought.

"Who are you? Why am I in a hospital?" I rasped. Internally I flinched at my dry throat but I made no faces because showing weakness in front of a stranger is a big no-no. He, however, is extremely observant or simply intuitive as he gracefully stood up from the chair and made his way to the table at the side of my bed. Pouring a tall glass of water, he adjusted my bed so I wasn't lying flat on my back but rather quite inclining. "Drink" he said softly.

"Thanks." I reached for the glass but he held my hand for a beat, _maybe a beat too long, _and told me quite imperiously, "Let me."

I drank, all the time making eye contact. I was trying to decipher who this man is. Those few seconds jogged my memory. The last thing I remembered was getting hit by something - a car - before passing out. But judging by my rather intact body, I deduced that something else-.

_Wait. Brilliant blue eyes. Halo of blond hair. The man. _I looked up at him...

"Did you just mow me down in the middle of the street in broad daylight? That's why I'm here isn't it?" I narrowed my eyes on him. His somber facade faded as a slight shadow of a grin appeared. It changed his face completely, from being a bit serious and (admittedly) threatening to a boyish, carefree demeanour. Almost, anyways. I couldn't shake the instinct that tells me this man is dangerous.

And still, I don't know what he was doing with me.

"I saved you." He said succinctly. I waited for more, but apparently that was everything I needed to know. I opened my mouth to ask him for more when the door whooshed open.

"доброе утро" An old man wearing a lab gown approached us. "Dr. Svanko at your service. Now, Mrs. Lyzlova, how are you feeling?"

"Ms. Lyzlova," I corrected him automatically, "Miss and not Missus."

Dr. Svanko looked in askance at the man. "Er, okay. You are very lucky to have avoided the car, Vedette."

"Why am I here then? I mean, this man justt me on the street hard enough that hospitalized me, but he's certainly no car."

The good doctor looked torn over something. He clearly wanted to say something but he kept glancing at the man at the head of my bed. "Let me handle this, Doctor. I would very much like it if I could explain what happened to my _wife." _The man said casually, as if he wasn't dropping a bomb on me. Wife? I'm a wife?

"But I don't kn-"

"Shh, just keep calm down, love." He cut me off, squeezing my fingers meaningfully.

It was at this moment that I knew I had to choose. Trusting a stranger isn't really a very healthy choice but the way I felt with him -_safe_\- was what pushed me to keep silent and allow the good doctor to finish with me. "Again, Mrs. Lyzlova, may I ask how you are feeling?"

Feeling a little sheepish, I answered him. "I'm feeling faint and the headaches are coming on strong." Dr. Svanko nodded, "I also ordered some blood work. A nurse will come here to draw some and then in a day or two, we would know if you check out okay. Meanwhile, you may go home. I'm releasing you in the care of your own _husband._"

I nodded and thanked him, and so did the man.

The moment the door was closed, I turned my body as best as I could to confront this man and demand that he answer all my questions.

"William. William Lyzlova, husband to Vedette Lyzlova, accountant to the firm TemRoe and that is all that you are going to have." He flashed me an official looking badge, though he put it away as quickly as he whipped it out, making it impossible for me to see the name of his agency.

Of course I was wary, but my mind wound back to the undercover mission that cost me my memory.

What if the mission wasn't finished?

Is this William the father of my baby?

Are the bad guys still after me?

"Are you the father of my child? Are you even really my husband?" I asked him. A hard light glinted off of his eyes. "Yes. Yes, I am the father of your child. How much information do you recall?"

"Just that I was on an undercover mission for the Treasury when I had the drowning incident. The men who brought me here didn't reveal much. I didn't ask; the less I know, the safer I'll be, I guess." I shrugged. I was aware of the fact that he didn't answer the second half of my question, but I let it slide.

After all, if there was something afoot, then he wouldn't be the only one using somebody. I was going to use him to uncover the giant gap in my past.

"I was sent here by the mission handlers to guard you. Evidently, a lot of rats didn't go down with the ship. There are still those who would want to finish you off but we can't afford your loss. You are too important." He said monotonously, but the last part I detected a hesitant pause that would have gone unnoticed for other ears. Interestingly, I was very attuned to this man that even the slightest change in his tone I could pick up.

It was unnerving, because it spoke of a certain intimacy that even Yusef and I didn't share. _And I loved Yusef, didn't I? _I was further intrigued by my relationship with this... this... with William. _It doesn't sound quite right._ I rolled the name around my mind for a few more times but it yielded nothing. Furthermore, it felt kind of .. wrong. He was now looking out of the window and then I decided this was the perfect time to ask about _us._

"What about us? What are we?' I asked in an unsure voice. I didn't know which answer I was hoping for. He turned around but leaned on the window sill, arms crossed.

"Us? We were two agents posing as a couple while I played at a high stakes game in a casino in order to lure out our mark. The couple part became true midway into the mission, until it ended abruptly with you drowning." He said those words with an air of practised nonchalance, as if those words were scripted and memorised, making it impersonal. I didn't know why, but I felt a certain kind of hurt over it. _Get over yourself, Vesper._

"Oh, lovers then. Did we... I mean are you.. did you know I was pregnant after... after it all?"

He came over to the bed and sat down on the side. He picked up my hand, touched my pulse, as if he wanted to be reassured that I was indeed alive, and looked back into the window.

"No. I didn't know you were carrying a child. We were always careful, but I guess sometimes it happens whether we wanted it to or not. And now life has added another factor into the play. We can't very well run with you pregnant, can we?"

I frowned at his choice of words because it truly sounded like he wasn't at all pleased that we were having a child. I was already loving this tiny piece of me growing inside and yet the father was giving him/her a less than warm acknowledgment. It rubbed me the wrong way.

His hands smoothed out the frown lines on my forehead. "Hey, don't take my words the wrong way. I am happy that we are having a child. But in my line of work, in the situation we are now in, well, it complicates thing a little bit."

My earlier irritation dissolved away.

"Just a little bit?" I smirked at him.

_There. He smiled again._

"Okay, maybe a lot. But this is what I promise you, Vesper Lynd," my heart lurches as I realized that this is the first time that he called me by my true name. It filled me with warmth, and the memories that were gone seemed to inch nearer to my reach, "I promise, with everything that I am that you and our child will be safe."

"If the world," he kissed my forehead, "seems to be a lie," then my nose, "believe that one truth."

He stared at my eyes for what seemed like an eternity before I felt the faintest brush of his lips with mine.

For what must be a very chaste kiss, it lit up a raging inferno inside me.

**_James_**

_Forgive me._

* * *

доброе утро - Good morning

A/N: So how was it? Please R&amp;R! J


	5. Special Announcement

A/N: I WILL BE CONTINUING THIS STORY.

After n-months of trying to open and remember this account, I finally did! Hooray! :D I assure you, I have every plans of updating this guys. Several months back I hit a bigtime writer's block and for the life of me I couldn't write anything down. I'm so sorry to disappoint all of you and keeping your hopes up BUT thank you for being loyal and kindhearted to my fics. Also, a shoutout to everyone who is egging me to continue this story: THANK YOU! I WILL! :)

Thegraytigress: I love your stories, even though you're in Ao3 now :)

Anyways, that's it for today. Expect an update this week in all of my stories :) I hope I made your day with these news! :)

Agent 0018


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